Wasteland, Wonderland
by Plastic Fantastic Lover
Summary: Wonderland is polluted with so-called reason, and there's only one person who can lead the battle to victory, to bring back the insanity we all know and love. R&R please!
1. Prologue

A black-haired teen sat with her back against a tree, face in the shadow of a black top-hat.

"So are you going to tell me why I'm here?" she asked without moving.

"Disrespect may be your downfall; some people don't tolerate it as well as I can" said a grubby-looking man smoking a cigarette, who grinned and laughed slightly, but it sounded more like a cough. He took a drag, then continued. "Pollution is everywhereâ€reason has taken overâ€this place is twisted backwardâ€ironicâ€Wonderland, un-insane but twisted"

The teen tipped up her hat and gave the man an odd look, then rolled her eyes to the sky, annoyed. "Everybody knows that, Caterpillar."

"That's not the point, Hatter."

Hatter opened her mouth, looking like she was about to say something, then closed it again as a sign for Caterpillar to continue.

"The point is thisâ€there's nothing we can do about itâ€right?" Caterpillar asked, taking another drag on the cig, waiting for Hatter to answer.

"Well duh."

"No. There is someone who can do something about it."

Hatter looked slightly surprised. "Really."

Caterpillar nodded. After a moment, Hatter got impatient and held out a hand.

"So who is it?"

"Her name is Alice."


	2. Down the Rabbit Hole

Chapter One: Down the Rabbit Hole

I would like to say a bit of something before we continue with the storyâyou may have read Alice in Wasteland by Disturbed Care Bear – she is my friend, and the one who created the idea for this with me. Go check out her version if you haven't already.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize from the book, and am making no money from this.

A girl looked around outside the house, checking the address to make sure she had the right one. She walked up the small driveway to the door and rung the doorbell. A girl with long brown hair and black framed glasses opened the door.

"Can I help you?"

The girl asked politely.

"I'm Alice"

"Oh, sorry, please come in," The girl replied. Alice walked into the house and the other girl shut the door behind her. "I'm Emily. My parents aren't home, they went out for dinnerâI doubt they thought that you'd be coming today" The girl said as she led Alice down a hall. Alice just looked about her. "This is your roomâthis is where you'll be stayingâthis is a closet, you can put your stuff in there." The girl motioned to another door. "And this is my room, I'll be here if you need me for anything. 'Night." With that the girl went into her room. Alice walked into her room and flopped down on the bed.

Later that night Alice peeked out of her room door. She was holding a backpack. She opened the closet door, turned on the light, and hung the backpack on a hook inside. Alice was about to turn and walk out again when the wall caught her attention. It was pulsating, and looked like a wall of water. She cautiously approached it, reaching out her hand to touch the wall. When her finger made contact, ripples spread out across it, and then as though it sensed her presence, the pulsating stopped and the wall returned to normal.

It was shortly after eleven when Emily heard a slightly frantic knocking on her door. She groaned and got out of bed, putting on her glasses. She opened the door, blinking, and saw Alice standing there looking quite alarmed. Emily groggily said, "What?"

"The wall, in the closet, it was moving!"

Emily blinked again. "Alice – "

Alice ignored her and pulled her out into the hallway and to the closet, gesturing towards the wall. "It was moving."

Emily looked at her skeptically and pushed on the wall. "It's not moving." She then rolled her eyes and started pushing Alice out of the closet. "They were rightâyou really do belong in a mental hospital. Go to bed."

"But – I swear!" Alice tried, but Emily wasn't having any of it.

"Go to bed!" and she cut Alice off by slamming the door in her face.

"Wake me up in the middle of the night for that, stupid girl" she could be heard muttering as she went back to bed.

Alice turned off the light and got into bedâshe was convinced that she had seen the wall movingâthat she had _felt _the wall moving. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep, while she slept she dreamtâvoices and sounds filled her head as she remembered a day that had happened seven years before. It was the day that her family had died. Although she was only six years old at the time, she could remember everything down to the last detailâwhat her mother smelled like, the clothes her sister was wearing, what brand of cigarette her father was smoking that day.

She also could remember the odd voice that spoke to herâspoke to her and got her to wake up before her parents voices could reach herâshe had stopped having that nightmares for awhile, but they had just come back a month before. Although the screams of her family were all horrid, it was the high-pitched scream of her sister that woke Alice from her slumber. The girl rolled over and looked at the clock, noticing that it was almost twelve AM, she got out of bed to get a needed glass of water.

She opened the door to her room quietly, so as not to disturb anyone who was sleeping at that time and stepped out into the hallway. As she walked by the closet door she heard someone call her nameâsoftly and wispy...somewhat like the wind. She looked around, seeing if she had just heard something

"Alice"

There it was againâthe voice. It sounded as if it was coming from the closet but she couldn't be sure. Alice pressed an ear against the door and turned the knob, pushing the white piece of wood open – to see an empty closet. She scowled and stepped into the small room, promptly falling through the supposedly solid floor.

Alice sat up slowly, looking around. According to what her eyes were currently telling her, she was in a forest. She stood up and turned, hoping to see a road or something through the trees. Instead, what she got was a personâstandingâon a rockâlike a statueâwearing a cloakâAlice raised an eyebrow.

"Umâexcuse me" she said cautiously. It's head turned towards her and it blinked. "Oh hello. Are you looking for someone? You could try over that way," it pointed in a direction, "Or that way," it pointed in another direction, and kept going like that until Alice got fed up and started walking in the direction the statue/person had pointed to in the first place. At first she didn't see anything – then, leaning against a tree, she saw a teenager with black hair and a top hat shading her face.

"Hello?" Alice inquired. The teen tipped the hat up and looked at her.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if you might be able to help me. You seeâI'm a bit lost." Alice said. The teen studied her. "What's your name?"

"Alice"

The teen grinned, then walked up to Alice.

"So _you're_ the one he was talking about" she circled Alice slowly, looking her up and down.

"I'm the one who was talking about?" Alice wondered.

"Caterpillar. He knows everything..."  
The teen rolled her eyes, then smirked. "He said you would be coming to save Wonderland. Or Wasteland"

"Woah, save Wonderland?" Alice replied, holding up a hand. "I don't even know what Wonderland is. I don't even know who _you_ are."

The other teen sighed. "Ah, wellâI suppose nothing worth it is easy." She leaned against a nearby tree and crossed her arms. "My name is Hatter. This place," she gestured around them, "Is Wonderland, or Wasteland as many now call it."

"Why call it Wasteland? It doesn't seem all that bad to me." Alice said, looking about her. Hatter smiled grimly – suddenly they were in a graveyard. Alice took a step back.

"What just happened? Why are we here?"

"Dead men tell no tales."


	3. Wonderland, Wasteland

Chapter Two: Wonderland, Wasteland

Disclaimer: Don't own, inhale, no money, exhale...repeat...

Hatter stood up off of the gravestone she had been leaning on and took her hat off, running her fingers through her hair before plopping it back on again and sitting against the nearest tree.

"So then. You'll want to know why you're here?" Hatter asked while positioning herself comfortably.

"Well...obviously..." Alice replied, looking around for a moment before sitting down herself, in front of Hatter.

"The truth is I don't really know why _you're_ here, but I do know why _someone _needed to be. The Queen of Hearts, the so-called 'great' queen of Wonderland, was a very foul woman – I don't think there was anyone who liked her at all. But everyone was afraid of her, and that's why she was the queen. Her husband kept her from murdering _everyone_ who made her mad, so life here was pretty good for us. One day she decided she wanted complete control, so she killed her husband with a pink flamingo and ever since there have been little things running around making everything normal. According to the Caterpillar, you're the only one who can stop this...but you don't look like much..." Hatter finished, looking over Alice, who shifted uncomfortably. "But...how am I supposed to...?"

"No clue. We have to talk to Caterpillar. Being the stupid riddling bastard that he is, he never gives you the full answer. So...we have to go back and talk to him before we do...whatever it is we're supposed to do. I think he said something about an army...yes! He told me to get as many people as I could, then go see him about how to save Wonderland! HaHA!" Hatter was now standing, with a fist in the air. She lowered it, looking at Alice expectantly. "Well? Are you coming?"

Alice sighed and stood up. "Alright...fine...I don't see why not..."

Hatter grinned, then dropped it as she turned and started walking.

"Let's see, there's Cheshire, the Queens, March Hare..."

Alice's head was spinning with questions as they walked.

"How did I get here?" was the only one she asked.

"The Rabbit Hole. Caterpillar had it put where you'd be certain to fall through it." Hatter answered, trying to figure out who was closest. Alice rolled her eyes. That didn't help much, as she had no idea as to what the Rabbit Hole was.

"So...either Cheshire or the Queens...how about...Cheshire?" Hatter muttered, then asked.

"Who's Cheshire?" Alice wondered. Hatter smiled. "You'll see..."

Suddenly the surroundings changed again, and they were standing in a field in front of a small...hut? Hatter automatically began walking forward, and Alice followed.

"Cheshire?" Hatter asked, entering the hut. A young woman was sitting inside, head down.

"This thing all things devours...birds, beasts, trees, flowers...gnaws iron...bites steel...grinds hard stones to meal...slays town...and beats high mountain down." It was at this time that she chose to look up slightly, ominously. "And we don't have nearly enough of it."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, time." Hatter waved away her greeting. "Cheshire, meet Alice."

Alice stepped forward nervously and waved. Cheshire raised an eyebrow at Hatter.

"Taking up babysitting now, Mad?" she commented. Hatter rolled her eyes. "No, Cheshire...according to Caterpillar, Alice is Wonderland's last hope."

Both of Cheshire's eyebrows were now raised at this statement.

"Really..."

"Yeah, really. Now let's go." Hatter turned to walk out.

"Hold on, where exactly are we going?" Cheshire asked suspiciously.

"To gather an army. Then we'll go see Caterpillar and ask him what the hell we're supposed to do next. Got it? Good. Let's go." This time she walked out of the hut, Alice on her heels. Cheshire followed as well, rolling her eyes.

Hatter walked ahead, mutting to herself. Alice caught up with her.

"Who are we going to get next?" she asked.

"March Hare."

"You don't sound very happy about that," Alice replied.

"I hadn't noticed," Hatter said bitterly, glaring, but she stumbled and was forced to watch the ground ahead of her.

"Why? What have you got against March Hare, or whoever?" (Alice)

"They used to be in love," Cheshire said mockingly, then grinned.

"I must have been mad - madder - to be with March," Hatter muttered.

"I'm sure you weren't mad..." Alice told her consolingly.

"Oh, we're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad..." Cheshire said lazily.

"How do you know I'm mad?" Alice asked.

"You're here, aren't you?" Cheshire retorted. Alice was thinking about this when Hatter stopped suddenly and Alice, who had fallen slightly behind in her contemplation, ran into her.

"We're not going to see March Hare." Hatter said firmly.

"Don't be ridiculous, we're supposed to be gathering an army. Besides, it's fun to watch you two bicker." Cheshire added with an evil grin.

"We'll get her later. Right now...we'll get...Gryphon and Mock Turtle." Hatter changed directions just as abruptly as she had stopped and continued walking once more, the other two having no choice but to follow.

"What's a Mock Turtle?" Alice asked Hatter.

"It's the thing Mock Turtle soup is made from." the latter replied, much happier now that she had delayed her reuniting with March. This explanation was not much help to Alice, but she didn't voice her confusion. Soon they came upon another teen, with black wings sprouting out of her back. The teen was stretched out in a patch of sunlight, apparently asleep.

"Gryphon, wake up!" snapped Hatter. Cheshire looked around for a moment, then upon finding what she was searching for she picked the stick up and promptly poked Gryphon in the side with it. Gryphon stirred and looked up groggily. "Oi? What'ya want?"

"Get Mock Turtle and come with us." Hatter ordered. "We're making an army."

Five minutes later they were all sitting in front of Mock Turtle, who had insisted upon explaining to them the Lobster Quadrille.

"You first form into a line along the seashore - " Gryphon began, quickly cut off by Mock Turtle.

"Two lines!" the latter cried. "Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way - "

"That generally takes some time," Gryphon interrupted.

"You advance twice - "

"Each with a lobster as a partner!" shouted Gryphon.

"Of course," Mock Turtle said, "advance twice, set to partners - "

"Change lobsters, and retire in same order," continued Gryphon, her voice getting louder every minute.

"Then, you know," Mock Turtle went on excitedly, "you throw the - "

"The lobsters!" shouted Gryphon, with a bound into the air.

"As far out to sea as you can - "

"Swim after them!" screamed Gryphon.

"Turn a somersault in the sea!" cried Mock Turtle, capering wildly about.

"Change lobsters again!" yelled Gryphon at the top of her voice.

"Back to land again, and - that's all the first figure," said Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping her voice, and both of them, who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, looking at Alice.

She was at a loss for words.


End file.
